Disclaimer: The following post is inspired from a real life incident but all the characters, places and names involved are fictitious (not really).
I received a phone call in the middle of work today. This conversation single-handedly managed to shame me into signing up for Tinder in ten minutes, a feat which all of my happily committed girlfriends couldn’t achieve in about a year.
Extremely polite middle aged voice: Hello Ma’am. I am Paul and I am calling from Phurmy’s Brewhouse.
Me: Hi Paul. I was actually heading for a meeti…
Me(fantasizing about 50% off on extra cheesy, fat pizzas ): Sure, go ahead!
Paul: Phurmy’s is offering a Valentine ’s Day special on 14th February from 8 pm onwards. The package includes a romantic boat ride, a customized red velvet cheesecake, champagne, confetti…(add fifty more candy floss stuff) for you and your partner, ONLY for Rs. 3499!
Me: I see.
Paul: Would you like me to book a table for you or would you like me to email all the details to you?
Me: Thank you but I am not interested.
Paul: Do you have any other plans for that evening, Ma’am?
Me: No, I haven’t made any plans yet.
Paul: Then, why not choose our restaurant Ma’am?
Me: Because I am single. I do not have a boyfriend to come to your restaurant with on VALENTINE’S Day.
Me: I guess that should have been your first question.
Long awkward pause.
Longer awkward pause.
Longest awkward pause in the gloriously embarrassing history of awkward pauses.
Paul: Well, alright Ma’am, thank you for your time. Have a nice day!
Me: You too Paul.
PS: I know “Not Amused part – II” is due but I completed this first and it is my blog which means I can post whatever I want.